I'll be getting on a plane and traveling this week to the Great North for work and I will be boarding this plane with a cold. Oh the humanity! How dare I get on this pressurized aircraft where the germs have nowhere to go but into the nasal cavities of the people around me? While I showered this morning all of this came to mind. I do my best thinking in the shower. Nah, not really. It's just that the steam of the shower loosens up the congestion in my chest and well I started to ponder my flight and how annoying it is to fly while congested and sick. Pressure, fluid, ears. You get my drift.
Airborne has become a standard carry-on for most passengers. But for the few, like yours truly, that aren't smart enough to know this standard why not blast a warning email. The airline has each passengers email address. A simple "hidey ho! you will be flying with a person who has a cold on your flight 1234 to the Great North. Please plan accordingly. Thank you for choosing RipOff Airlines for your travel needs" is all thats needed to prepare the travelers that they need to pick up some Airborne. Granted, the sicky would need to warn the airline of their plight but it's nice to know that it's an option. It could even be a checkbox when booking your flight. Yes, I would like to be notified of sick passengers via phone, email, text and Facebook inbox. Because honestly, who checks real email anymore? It's all about Facebook homies.
After coming up with the brilliant email idea I thought about what other possible annoyances we as high and mighty Americans may want to be forewarned about.
A nervous nelly. I think it might be nice to be told ahead of time that Nelly is going to be death gripping my arm at some point during the flight and I may want to bring along a light sedative to slip into the ginger ale.
The crying baby. Ear plugs. We all know the headphones to your media player won't silence the high pitched whine and those noise canceling headphones are expensive.
The talker. I'm not a conversationalist on a flight. I am always armed with my book or magazine and music player with headphones. Even if you happen not to have a music player bring the headphones and put them in without the connection in plain sight. This way the person thinks you're listening to music. I suggest bobbing your head every once in awhile for full effect.
The muslim. Yes, I said it and I'm not freakin racist so lay off. Most people, if honest with themselves do a double take if they see someone who even looks muslim get on the plane. I can't help it. I do it. My mind goes straight to the Twin Towers. Sue me. But if I know ahead of time that a full background check has been completed on everyone and all names have been compared against any Terrorist Watch Lists then I'm cool. Maybe this already happens and I'm paranoid for no reason at all.
These are my shower thoughts for the day. What would you like to be forewarned about prior to your mile high trip?
Safe Travels,
Phlegmy
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